


pay attention to what happens ; liability

by nekrowmancy



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Akechi Goro Needs a Hug, Akechi needs therapy, Internalized Homophobia, LMAO, M/M, Sexuality Crisis, Slurs, also he's sad, me too tho, pick one struggle, that but as a fanfic, what if akechi went to the school festival afterparty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-19
Updated: 2020-05-19
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:27:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,206
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24275074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nekrowmancy/pseuds/nekrowmancy
Summary: there are things to goro akechi that not even he knows.like how vulnerable he is,how tiny, small, jaded he feels.things that will remain unaddressed until the school festival.
Relationships: Akechi Goro/Amamiya Ren, Akechi Goro/Kurusu Akira, Akechi Goro/Persona 5 Protagonist
Comments: 9
Kudos: 150





	pay attention to what happens ; liability

**Author's Note:**

> au where akechi receives the phone call during his q & a panel, except it's not staged.
> 
> >alt: akechi doesn't reveal he knows the phantom thieves' identity (not right away.)
> 
> >alt: akechi receives a call from his sweet, loving, caring father. 
> 
> >alt: akechi doesn't leave the school festival early.

The first time he realized he hated being a celebrity was the day he went to the school festival at Shujin Academy.

Sounds of his name being excitedly passed between lips of female students made his stomach drop like a boulder.

A gloved finger taps the mic timidly, and a hush sweeps up the crowd like a fisher's net. So, naturally, with a hundred eyes boring into his face and a hundred phones lifted to record him and a million eyes waiting to watch the video, he feels the pressure of social media and his fans' expectations of his next words and actions. Even though he allows his personality to bag up his anxieties, he can't help but let his mind wander. 

Why is he doing this? What is the point? Why did so many of these students want him to be their guest?

And why does it matter now, of all times, instead of when he was being broadcast live on television? Why is a stupid school festival causing him to want to duck his head and hide like a child?

The sight of gray eyes caught his attention. He was being watched. 

Only now did he feel the drop of how much he regretted this. Now, he can't afford to make a fool out of himself. Not in front of him. 

Was it suddenly hot in the gym? Why is he sweating so much? His back feels damp and he feels suffocated from the presence of his coat and the gloves choking the air flow out of his fingers. 

Even though he managed to capture the audience's heart, spur a couple laughs, and ultimately didn't make himself look like a _total ass_ , Goro Akechi was falling apart on stage. 

The panel's intermission came and went quickly. It was a ten minute break, but Akechi felt like it was approximately thirty seconds. A brown haired girl tapped his shoulder gently, and he jerks, stuffing the wet cloth he used to wipe his forehead into his pocket. 

"Akechi-kun? You're back on," she hums, her voice strict and professional, which was a nice change of pace from the amount of young girls screaming his name with cheesy posters. God, why is he doing this?

Nodding, he thanks her with a polite smile and returns to his spot behind the podium. 

However, before she can even get a question out of her mouth, his phone rings. His heart nearly explodes. Please, please. Please. Don't let it be who he thinks it is. 

A light laugh forces his way out of his throat, "I am so sorry. I can't turn my phone off due to the nature of my work. Please excuse me. But, remember to turn it off in theaters!" 

Leaving the giggling crowd, he excuses himself to the closed off rooftop and picks up the phone. 

* * *

The second time he realized how much he hates being a celebrity was on the rooftop of Shujin Academy. 

It only took thirty minutes to notice Akechi was not coming back. It sparked worry among the crowd and inside a group of friends who had watched the panel. One of them volunteered to go looking for the detective and make sure he wasn't snooping around the school for clues on the principal's suicide and Kamoshida's case. 

Akira Kurusu pushed the doors to the rooftop open gently, immediately being met with a gust of hot wind, indicating rain for later that evening. Despite the humidity, he stepped confidently forward onto the concrete and looked around. His eyes were met with an... interesting, unusual, and rather unworldly view. 

There Akechi was, slumped against the fencing, fingers interlocked in the metal crossings and providing a symbol of how badly he wanted release. Though he wasn't visibly and audibly crying, his shoulders shook and his body heaved with the implications of a sunken heart and the physical pain that came with it. Sinking to his knees, he collapsed on the concrete and clutched at his chest with panicked hands. 

And though he was concerned, the onlooker could not muster enough to say anything to the broken statue. He simply beheld the sight of such a strong, charismatic person becoming vulnerable and weak. A sight Akira never though he would witness from Goro Akechi.

A few moments passed before Akechi sat back on his knees, face tilted towards the sky. "Do you finally see how pathetic I am?" 

The words come as a shock to Akira. How long did he know he was standing there? 

"No."

Jerking his head towards him, the brunette can only give him an incredulous, almost furious look as he bursts out laughing. In a bitter, aggressive tone, he spats out, "No?" 

Taken aback and seemingly unafraid of this new behavior, Akira repeats, "No."

Akechi's head drops back down. A real sob takes him by the shoulders and shakes him. 

"Uhm.." Akira sways awkwardly, not quite sure what to do, "do you want to go to the after-party with me?" 

* * *

The third time he realized he hates being a celebrity was just before the after-party.

Though he accepted Akira's offer through a smile, sniffles, and a _"you're so fucking weird,"_ Akechi had to very gently remind the noirette that he could not just make an appearance out of the blue without them both being hounded and harassed by people who stay updated on the Phantom Thieves or his fanclub. Thinking that this would make Akira retract his offer, Akechi was pleasantly surprised to be met with reassurance that he most definitely wanted to spend time with the detective. 

"Uhm... but," Akechi laughs lightly, having stopped his crying a few minutes earlier, "what are we going to do about my face? It is shockingly charming enough to be detected from miles away." 

Akira shakes his head, grabs the brunette's hand, and jerks him down the halls of Shujin, through the courtyard, and into the practice building. Second floor, theater classroom and prop, costume, and set design studio. They spent upwards to an hour trying on costumes and generally disturbing the cleanliness of the room that Akira would surely be responsible for the consequences later, but it seemed to significantly boost Akechi's mood, so he didn't mind. 

The game completely changed when they found a box of the masquerade masks one of the classes had used for the stand the day before. 

Both sporting matching, black masks, Akira helped him tie his hair up into a flimsy, sorry excuse for a ponytail. Akechi was overjoyed. After finding a suitable disguise for them both, as the brunette suggested it would be fun, they linked arms and made their merry way back to the gym. 

Akechi was a chatterbox the whole way there. He rambled excitedly about how his school doesn't have festivals like this (they were very prestigious and uptight) and how much he enjoyed the active, carefree atmosphere (something that would be reprimanded at his school) and very quietly asked if he could come back next year, too. Akira thought his heart would explode. 

For the next two hours, Akechi found himself wrapping emotional strings around Akira until they were inseparable. When they danced together, he flushed beet red, which made him thankful for the mask and dark lighting. When Akira grinned at one of his stupid jokes, he felt himself turn into a fucking _mess_. By the end of the party, Akechi was a mass of slime, dropping into Akira's hands and leaking onto the floor, pooling around his shiny, black shoes. 

Eventually, things slowed down. The music didn't, the people around them didn't, but Akechi felt the world stop. With his hand interlocked in Akira's, their eyes burning into each other's, he could truly feel time look away from humanity just long enough to where he could full ingrain every single strand of the noirette's hair pushed back from his eyes and the way his skin flushed and how the lights in the gym danced around the reflection of his mask and oh, how badly he wanted to lift it and kiss him--.

And so he did.

* * *

The fourth time he realized he hates being a celebrity was when he kissed Akira in the middle of the after-party in Shujin Academy's gym. 

As soon as the masks were down and their lips were pressed together, people took notice. They noticed that was Goro Akechi, and they noticed that the person he was kissing wasn't a girl. 

The pair didn't notice until the flash of someone's camera exposed their faces permanently. Akechi's eyes became the size of quarters, his hands lifting up to shove Akira back, who automatically felt a stab of hurt. The only thing the detective could do was stare. The crowd stared back. No one said anything. In the midst of the silence, thunder shook the stadium, which was the one thing that spurred him to action, and Akechi fled the gym faster than he had ever moved before. Only then did the shouts of slurs, mockery, and threats start up. Akira had no choice but to run after him. 

In front of the school gate sat Akechi. His ragged breaths told the story of exhaustion, but he sat in the rain, being absolutely drenched. Because it was dark outside, Akira had to squint and check to make sure it was actually him, because it would be very awkward if he sat down next to a stranger. 

Ignoring the torrential rain, he took a seat next to Akechi. Before he could even blink, the brunette brought his knees up to his chest and hissed, "My father called me and said he was going to kill me after the elections." 

His heart sank. 

He didn't know what to say.

"I'm s-"

"No. He might as well. Especially after it surfaces on social media that his son is a fucking faggot." Akechi turns towards him, fury burning in the red depths of his eyes. "What am I supposed to do now? Get him before he gets me? Disappear off the face of the earth? Die? Tell me what to do, _Joker._ "

Akira felt his blood run ice cold. His stomach flipped. He stood up. Akechi mimicked his actions.

"Our friendship needs to end here." And like that, he left Akira on the steps of the school and disappeared into the rain. 

* * *

Akira didn't hear from Akechi for days after that. Of course, there were articles. Lots of articles. A handful of them supported Akechi's sexuality, but five handfuls of them took him by the hair and drug him through the mud. 

Admittedly, he was worried about how Akechi would be taking this. Is he beating himself up over it? Did his dad find out yet? What happened? And, more importantly, how long has Akechi known that he was a phantom thief? 

Every day, he sent Akechi a text. Every day, he didn't get one in return. He was starting to think that maybe he had been blocked. 

Then one day, he came home and found the detective sitting at the counter in Leblanc. 

"Hello!" he sings, his smile bright and his tone friendly, "I would like to speak with you. Is there somewhere private we could go?"

Upstairs in the attic, Akechi removes his gloves and sighs. 

"I tried."

Akira asked, "What?"

"I tried really hard."

A few days ago, Akechi found himself sitting with a girl at a cafe. If he could trick the media into thinking he had a girlfriend, perhaps they'd get off his ass about kissing another guy. But when their lips connected, when they kissed so passionately in public, he felt disgusted. He felt like a liar. Every single cell in his body tried to force him away from this girl and make him stop. When was it going to end? How long does a kiss last? It only lasted a few seconds, but it felt like years. 

Making up an excuse, Akechi had fled from the cafe and vomited in the alleyway nearby. 

And for every night after that, he stayed up, willing himself to be attracted to anyone but men. Please, not men. Please. Don't be gay. 

And for every night after that, he stayed up, thinking about how the only person he could envision himself with was a man. One man.

Here he was, standing in front of him, biting his lip to stop the tears from spilling over. 

"I really like you. And I really, really don't want to."

Akira was not surprised. But he had to be gentle. He had his own sexuality crisis years ago, when he discovered he liked his ex best friend. He knew what Akechi was going through. So, they sat together on the couch, and discussed for hours about Akechi's feelings and how positively, absolutely _normal_ they were. 

Akechi cried. 

All Akira could do was hold him. 

* * *

The first time Akechi realized he loves being a celebrity was when he went on television.

He talked about his relationships with women and how they differ from men.

He talked about his attraction to men, and how unashamed, how prideful, how wonderful it felt to be with his boyfriend. 

He talked about being happy. And yeah, he was happy. 


End file.
